By Anila K
Enough and more has been said in the past 2 years on the Delhi rape... The culprits are behind bars.. and one would think this would give them enough time to mull things over.
Then came the documentary by Leslee Udwin which shocked the nation and the world. Thus began a new outrage. The Driver on the eventful night - Mukesh Singh neither had any shame nor remorse when interviewed. His comments were equally derogatory and was still blaming the victim for the events which unfolded that night.
But then these thoughts aren't out of place. It has always been voiced out..Mostly in hushed tones.. Never showcased them out so openly.. Lot of people were outraged by the telecast.. that this is what most men & women think.. But isn't that the truth.. We have heard at least one of these thing when such incidents are reported.
"She is dressed in a manner that people get attracted to her. In fact, she wants them to do something to her. She should stop wearing jeans."
This one I could never understand and no matter how many times these comments have been made, It still doesn't make sense either. No girl / women in the right sense would think while dressing up .. Guess what I wore jeans today.. So I want to get raped. I am sure everyone dresses up to feel good about themselves. So why does dressing come in to the picture. If a girl/ women wants to dress up in jeans.. skirts.. short dresses.. salwar's or saree's. There have been cases were children as young as 2-3 yrs old have been raped. Do tell me in what manner did their dressing attracted them to be raped. And it is not that only young children or women who are young are being raped.. There are also senior women who have been raped and they were all dressed in saree's / salwar's. " A decent girl won't roam around after nine o' clock ( or late ) at night . Women should not venture out with men who are not relatives.." We talk so much about freedom as part of the constitutional right.. But why when it comes to women.. there are so much restriction.. I don't remember having been taught at school that there is a rule that girls/ women are not allowed to roam around in the night. Aren't we part of this free nation.. Shouldn't we not feel free to roam around in our country.. Do we need to have an escort all the time?
And when she does feel free and ends up getting raped.. the culprit comes up ..
"WHEN BEING RAPED, SHE SHOULDN'T FIGHT BACK. SHE SHOULD JUST BE SILENT AND ALLOW THE RAPE."
What mentality is this.. The mind set is such that they don't think nor understand that what they are doing.. their action is wrong.. its a crime. This was justified further that they raped her to teach her a lesson.. What lesson was being taught here? There are lots of people who think they are traditionalist with these kind of views. They feel that the rapists were right and hence should restrict the movements of the women further. This means that they do not allow girls to study ( further ).. not allowing them to go for work.
"Rapes are on the rise because - men and women mingle more freely now. Its all to do with the western culture."
When something goes wrong we immediately blame the western influence. We have a rich heritage. Here we used to treat every women with respect. But then over the period of time this has changed. Women have been confined only to reproduce, raise kids and do household work. This position of women is again defined by the men in this society.
Who gave them the right to dictate that this is what women have to do?
Sometimes these so called men forget that there existence came in to being because a women choose to bore him for 9 months and bought his mere existence into this world. Had those women thought otherwise then these men wouldn't have been here to think and act the way they do.
I am equally saddened by the fact that lot of women encourage such thoughts because they come under the abuse of these men. A survey conducted in the Northern part of India more than 70 % men thought it was fair to pass crude comments on women. The crux of this situation all comes down to the mentality of our society. Gender discrimination is still instilled. Children are taught at a very young age that boy and girl are not equal. And girls are warned with a list of do's and don't's for her to remain a good girl as per the " society".
As said by the now so called famous Defence lawyer ML Sharma - " In our society, we never allow our girls to come out from the house after 6:3o or 7:30 in the evening with unknown person. You are talking about women and men as friends. Sorry, that doesn't have any place in our society. We have the best culture. In our culture , there is no place for a woman."
Sadly it is true.. There is no place for women. We must fight and strive to find a place for our own. That we are independent and we need no one to come abuse us or the need to be taught a lesson.